Meet the Groomsmen

So I’ve been doing lots of wedding and moving out stuff these past few months. Finding a place to live, dj, helping to find table decorations, making sure the wifey doesn’t spend more $ than I’m comfortable with, getting a bed, tv, getting utilities turned on, etc. It’s all a bit much. It’s two of life’s biggest points, marriage and moving out of your parents’ house. It just so happens that I’m doing both at the same time.

One decision that wasn’t too hard was choosing the men who will be standing with me on the big day. Wifey says I’m supposed to write a little bit about each member and why I chose them. Is this wedding tradition or something that was invented by theknot.com? I have no idea but here you go, with each member being compared with a famous athlete so the gentlemen who check this site will know what I’m talking about.

Brian- My little brother is my dong seng. Working hard at Cedar’s Sinai trying to get a camera shot of celebrity babies or Britney’s goodies so we can sell them to the tabloids. I’ve known him the longest out of anybody else in the party, and needless to say we have a ton of memories that a paragraph wouldn’t do justice to. Plus some of the stories I could share would make him blush. He makes me proud everyday and he’s grown to become a tremendous success. I can always rely on him (unless he’s on call), and since he’s the only guy who’s actually married, he’ll know how to make sure things go smoothly on the big day. I love the little guy, even though it’s been years since he’s been bigger than me.
Tim Duncan. He grew and made the Admiral a better player. Then he took over and just absolutely dominated at every facet of the game. Seems boring at times, but when you study him, it’s amazing what he does for himself as well as his team. Kinda like how Brian disappeared to WI for a few years and came back an M.D.

DH- My dear chingu. I’ve known this guy since middle school. We used to buy porn VHS in middle school, watch, get scared we were going to get caught, and throw them away. That small connection through porn led us to high school. In high school we did everything together. Homework, projects, cheated once or twice (not that I condone this as a teacher), prom, N&W pizzas after school, movies at the CinemaStar, just good times. High school was what it was, because of the memories I have with DH. One guy I would trust my life, my first kid, with. DH is certainly good peoples and I proudly call him one of my best mans.
Marvin Harrison. Quiet, reserved, and does just about everything well. You don’t know he’s on the field until the end of the game and find that he put up over 100 yards and 2 touchdowns. That’s the type of guy DH is. Just around utility, and reliable at every moment. The consummate teammate and guaranteed hall of famer.

Ji Hoon- He’s really turned to his Korean side lately, so I don’t think he goes by Jay anymore. Known this guy since middle school too, didn’t keep in touch during high school, got back together in college. Sounds like a lost romance or something. Ji Hoon isn’t the same Ji Hoon from a few years back, and good for him. He’s decided to make strides in his maturity and I can understand that. Another guy I can always count on to be there, he’ll do anything to never let anyone down. So technically, I could have just had him as a guest instead of the bridal party, and he still would have helped out. Plus he’s next on the list to wed, so he needs an inside look at how things run. Maybe he’ll hire me as his wedding planner.
Deion Sanders- Remember when Deion used to be Primetime? Remember when Ji Hoon used to be Jay? Pretty much the same thing. Flashy player who let his partying get in the way of his success. Only to tone it down later in his career, and find out his excellent fundamentals made him an even better player than earlier in his career. I think Deion has about 8 kids, the same number Jay’s shooting for.

Mike GC Reyes- Was this a mistake? How’d a Mexican guy get there? Or you’re thinking it’s a Filipino guy. Nope. He’s full Mexican and he enjoys Korean food more than I do. I don’t think Mike really has any friends who aren’t Asian. Anyhow, I’m glad he’ll be standing up there with me. A bit too blunt for some, and a bit harsh for others, but you can be sure he’ll support you if you’re one of his buddies. Luckily I’m one of his buddies. See how Mike works? Besides, if he wasn’t standing there with me, we wouldn’t have any music during the reception since he’s paying for half of it. All kidding aside, Mike is definitely one guy I’m glad will be there with me on the 16th.
Allen Iverson- I’ve read some unbelievable stories about AI. Kind of like some of the stuff that happens to Mike. Absolutely ridiculous, but completely true. Tons of flash and showmanship, with a killer instinct sums up Iverson and Reyes. If you’ve seen Mike in a club, you know what I’m talking about. But you know what? Even though he doesn’t show up for practice, he’s always there for the game. Never letting his team down.

Ryan “Batman” Bati- “Shhaaaddduupp. Nah thas out. Nah yous outs. First take shots! Then pop bottles! Ima beast!” What else? Perhaps the world’s most enigmatic man. I’ve yet to figure out everything about Ryan. Actually, I’ve yet to figure out half of him. So why then is he in the bridal party? Because as he calls himself, he is, “the moral compass of the group.” Now I don’t know how true this is since he also refers to himself as a beast and a thug. A highly righteous beastly thug with a government job? Not likely. The reason I got Bruce Wayne up there is because as shocking and outspoken as he may be, he’s got a good heart. Now you’ll only see it every so often, but when it comes out, you get a glimpse at Batman. Besides, who doesn’t like superheroes?
Terrell Owens- This would have been too easy to put Tito, and I refuse to give Ryan that satisfaction. About as brazen and bold as you can get. Pushups in front of the press (TO) or pushups when girls are going to be there (Batman). Not to mention the strange and bizarre quotes at any given moment making you wish you recorded it. Still, a great talented guy when everything’s said and done. Member how TO was a softie and crying for Romo last year? That's Bati come Aug 16th. B-b-b-but thas mah quarterback.

So that's my list of great guys that will be standing by my side on Aug 16th. It's going to be an amazing and memorable day, so if you found a really great looking invitation in your box that led you to this site, I'll see you there.